9-11 Truth: Guided Imagery

Close your eyes while someone reads this to you. If you have noone, record yourself reading this essay in a soft voice and listen to it in a day or two.

You are in a safe place. You think “I feel relaxed and safe.”

You decide to leave the cottage and explore. Outside there is a tiny farmyard with ducks the size of hummingbirds. The quacking of the ducks sounds like the tintinnabulation of bellringing mice. You laugh out loud. It is relaxing to laugh.

Across from you rise two lombardy poplars, then the meadow stretching beyond them. Perhaps it is a lake and not a meadow. Or a cross of a lake with a meadow.

You have never seen such massive poplars. You think “This beats a coppice any day.” Or do you mean a spinney?

Suddenly a stork flies over the roof behind you, over your head, and crashes into one of the trees about two-thirds of the way up. Feathers pour out of the far side of the column of foliage.

You are somewhat less relaxed.

The other stork appears and does its thing.

Suddenly one poplar, and then the other, collapses at the speed of free fall into its own footprint, ejecting a flow of leaves and splinters.

You wake up.

Now you do not feel relaxed at all.

Posted by Søren Renner on Tuesday, September 11, 2007 at 08:36 PM in
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And I thought guided imagery was a method of holistic healing.  But here we are awakening to a reality - a real world - that is somewhat more dysfunctional, disturbing and downright dangerous.

Soren, you missed the bit where the subject determines to join the 82nd Airborne and get himself invalided ... probably by friendly fire, but that’s not confirmed.

Posted by Guessedworker on Tuesday, September 11, 2007 at 10:03 PM | #


Storks are very dangerous.

Posted by Robert Reis on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 at 10:27 AM | #


WNs could learn a thing or two from Janet Jackson about how to cooperate and promote one another:

DonyaInMusic: I caught the video for ‘Nasty’ the other day and I completely forgot Paula Abdul was in it
DonyaInMusic: And I started wondering about the people who’ve gotten their start by working with you—Paula, J-Lo
DonyaInMusic: Are you guys still in contact with each other?
JanetJackson20YO: No, we’re not.
DonyaInMusic: Ok, well were you surprised at their success?
JanetJackson20YO: I was very surprised at Paula’s success but at Jennifer’s no because she told me she wanted to be an actress, so I let her out of her contract, wished her well, and everything she said she was going to do, she did.

It isn’t such a crazy idea to imitate the Jacksons both in terms of family planning (big families) and how we intend to market ourselves to the average person:

DonyaInMusic: When the whole Jackson clan gets together, how many people is it roughly?
JanetJackson20YO: I have 20 nieces and nephews....and that doesn’t include the greats....but it’s a LOT of people…
DonyaInMusic: wow, do you remember all of their names or ever get them mixed up?
JanetJackson20YO: lol - no
DonyaInMusic: Is anyone else in the family working on new music?
JanetJackson20YO: Yes, my brothers and my nephew Austin, and possibly another nephew, Dealz.

If WN doesn’t become musical, and sexually suggestive, it will never take off. Period.

Posted by PF on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 at 10:14 PM | #


PF honey, that guided imagery was nothing if not sexually suggestive. When are you coming to Australia to see your Auntie Melba?

Posted by Melba Peachtoast on Thursday, September 13, 2007 at 12:48 AM | #


You’re smothering me, Aunt Melba. Plus your reedy voice and your hectoring with colorful nonsense lead me to the suspicion that you are in fact Soren in virtual drag.

This reminds me of my favorite rap verse of all time, and my favorite rap song, from the released version
of It Ain’t Hard To Tell:

The buddha monk’s in your trunk
Turn the bass up
Nas stories by Aesop
Place your loot up
Parties I shoot up
Nas, I analyze
Drop a jewel well
Inhale from the L
School a fool well
You feel it like braille
It ain’t hard to tell
I kick a skill like Shaquille holds a pill
Vocabulary spills, I’m ill.
Plus ‘Matic, I freak beat slam it like Iron Shiek
Jam like a tec with correct techniques
So analyze me, surprise me, but can’t magmatize me
Scanning while your plannin’ ways to sabotage me
I leave ‘em froze like heron in your nose
Nas I rock well, it ain’t hard to tell.

Posted by PF on Thursday, September 13, 2007 at 11:31 AM | #


More rap lyrics from Nas:

From Nas is like:

My success to you, even if you wish me the opposite:
Sooner or later we’ll all see who the prophet is.

And from Take It In Blood:

Just the killer in me
Slash drug-dealer MC
Ex-slug filler, semi-mug peeler
Demi, bottles of Mo’, yo simply follow me flow
Put poetry inside a crack pot and blow.

And from Life’s a Bitch:

Switched my motto
Instead of saying ‘fuck tomorrow’
That buck that bought a bottle could’ve struck the lotto.

Posted by PF on Thursday, September 13, 2007 at 11:53 AM | #

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