Higgs Particle Suspected as Morgellons Cause
Two recent outbreaks of the mysterious “itching nanofiber” disorder known as Morgellons, one at CERN and the other at the Hanging Rock Supercollider in Australia, have indicated a possible link between high-energy particle colliders and the disease. Both facilities were attempting to create and detect the elusive Higgs particle when the outbreaks, which affected scores of scientists and workers and are now spreading rapidly, began. “We are trying to contain the event and prevent more deaths” according to Dr. Walabi of the HRS.
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Hey, look on the bright side: At least the earth didn’t shrink to the size of a pea.
BTW: Here are more photos of what we at The Institute now refer to, simply, as “the phenomenon”.
PS: Those not of western European heritage may want to read the Wikipedia article to understand strange happenings that seem to be cropping up today.
Damn, it’s mid-afternoon here and I forgot that the fool’s scourge-day is still on-going to the west.
Still, let’s foolishly investigate this alarming new health-risk.
1) Just how embarrassing is the itching?
2) What kills the itcher? The nano-thing or his rapacious forefinger?
3) Is the disease communicable? Or do I have to switch on the super-whooshing particle thingy that I nabbed off the James Bond set of Dr No just before Cubby & Co blew the whole kiboodle skywards at the end - and which, even now, is occupying a nine-mile circuit beneath my own private volcano.
I believe Ursula Andress may still be down there somewhere too. At least, somebody is costing me a fortune in mangos. But, frankly, since she is a septegenerian now, and Eva Green is taller (well, everybody is taller) I may be forced to cut off the supply.
A better way to go than itching to death, though.
Posted by Guessedworker on Tuesday, April 1, 2008 at 03:01 PM | #
I think I have an actual magellons bug sitting on my slide. Want to see it?
Sincerely,
Sheila Marie
Posted by Sheila Enzenauer on Tuesday, May 13, 2008 at 11:00 PM | #
i have morgellons,mine dosent itch,theres nothing funny about sores all over your arms and drs.thinking your crazy.
Posted by melissa on Sunday, July 27, 2008 at 05:53 AM | #
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