Taking aim at George
Posted by Johan Van Vlaams on Friday, February 18, 2005 at 05:17 AM
Next week is a big week for Belgians. President Bush will visit us … well, not just us, of course. The rest of Europe, too. But it could be Belgium he remembers best.
In the past visiting VIP’s have had much to remember Belgium for. Obviously, the President’s security people are, even as I write, nailing Noel Godin’s throwing arm to some passing F15. But they will not find it so easy to deal with the real security threat.
No, I don’t mean the 1,200 active Al Qaeda cells working airside at Brussels Airport. According to Paul Geudens, a journalist writing for the daily Gazet Van Antwerpen, it is more insidious than that.
The President will be received by Belgian Vice-Premier, Johan Vande Lanotte. He is a socialist, not an anarchist. So he is considered unlikely to offer Mr Bush a close inspection of Brussels’ delicious bakery products. But fellow cabinet member and close collaborator Laurent Winnock has found a way to humiliate the President without actually having to be at arms length from the Most Powerful Man in the World. No, he has not developed the world’s first laser guided cream cake. He has designed this self-adhesive tribute to a socialist Belgian’s love for America:-
Perhaps you have heard of the Fly Project. Its aim, so to speak, is to assist the Belgian male in the great task of sprinkling our country’s urinals, as intended, rather than our shoes, our neighbour’s shoes, his neighbour’s shoes. Winnock’s little masterpiece has the same humble function. Cafés all over Brussels are handing the thing out for free. In an effort to bring a new meaning to the words, “fly posting”, it is being plastered on porcelain surfaces all over the city. “Go ahead, piss on me!” says the punch-line. Well, it’s about the only opportunity the ordinary Belgian socialist is ever likely to get.
Clearly, the White House security people will be checking every urinal in the President’s path for that potentially explosive moment when the might of America must bow to Nature. I wonder if they have the balls to body-search Winnock for a concealed “weapon”, in case he tries to slide into the men’s room ahead of George.