Divorce:  Is the modern view wrong?

By Nathan Tabor
       
The debate over gay marriage and the entire homosexual agenda was a point of great contention in the 2004 election cycle, as voters in 13 states passed local marriage-protection amendments.  Just this past month, the U.S. Senate reintroduced the Marriage Protection Amendment, which would use the Constitution to define and protect traditional marriage as being the union of one man and one woman.

Of course the radical gay rights activists are livid about this, but they need to face the facts.  As decadent as modern America has become, the average citizen still doesn’t embrace the idea of unelected judicial tyrants tampering with the sanctity of marriage by sanctioning same-sex nuptials.

But frankly, the real threat to traditional marriage in America does not lie with the future social change agenda of the homosexuals. This column isn’t about gay marriage, or even about homosexuals. This is about the demise of traditional marriage — and that occurred more than three decades ago with the advent of “No-Fault Divorce.”

When the no-fault doctrine was established as law in the 1970s, the idea of marriage as a permanent bond became less important.  “’Til death do us part” became passÈ, and divorce rates quickly doubled nationwide.

According to the National Center on Health Statistics, 43 percent of all first marriages now end in divorce within 15 years. Second and later marriages fall apart at an even higher rate. Overall, more than 50 percent of all marriages break up in divorce courts. No-fault divorce is a big problem because there is no longer anything to keep a spouse from simply walking out on a marriage.

Children suffer the most. “Only acts of war and the events of natural disasters are more harmful to a child’s psyche than the divorce process,” states the Newsletter of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

Bitter child custody fights are often part of the cost of no-fault divorce. What’s more, the popular “amicable divorce” myth, where former spouses remain good friends, has been exposed as a deceitful lie. Fully two-thirds of all divorced couples still fester with bitterness toward one another five years later. Sadly, nobody wins.

Honest people know that no-fault divorce has been an unmitigated failure, as Dr. Diane Medved candidly admits in her book, The Case Against Divorce:

“I have to start with a confession: This isn’t the book I set out to write .... For example, I started this project believing that people who suffer over an extended period in unhappy marriages ought to get out. . . . I thought that striking down taboos about divorce was another part of the ongoing enlightenment of the women’s, civil- rights, and human potential movements of the last twenty-five years. . . . To my utter befuddlement, the extensive research I conducted for this book brought me to one inescapable and irrefutable conclusion: I had been wrong.”

Realistically, I know that there are sometimes legitimate reasons for divorce, and not every marriage can or should be saved. But every marriage ceremony should reflect a serious commitment, not just a passing fancy.

We can stop the soaring divorce rate in America by discarding the failed no-fault divorce model and toughening the laws on getting a divorce. Laws proposed in many states say that when a couple has children under 18, they can only get a no-fault divorce if they both consent to it. Specific information is available on the website of Americans for Divorce Reform (www.divorcereform.org).

By abolishing no-fault divorce, couples and their children will find real security in their marriages, the way most people used to. They will be more willing to invest their efforts in building a family, if they know it won’t all be taken away from them against their will by an arbitrary, unavoidable divorce decree.

Think about this idea as an option. You have to wait days to purchase to a gun.  Why not make couples wait awhile to get a divorce?  That will give them a chance to cool down. Some states already require an extended separation period before a divorce can be finalized, but many don’t. Other bills include proposals to encourage counseling and let couples choose what will be grounds for divorce in their marriage.

One refreshing idea called “Covenant Marriage” has already become law in Louisiana, Arkansas and Arizona. Just think: Holy Matrimony as a solemn, binding covenant, freely entered into by a man and woman who fully intend to spend the rest of their lives together — now isn’t that an intriguing notion?

Forget the radical homosexuals. Heterosexuals need to set the example and take the lead in strengthening the foundations of traditional marriage.

Copyright © 2005 by Nathan Tabor

Nathan Tabor is a conservative political activist based in Kernersville, North Carolina. He has his BA in Psychology and his Master’s Degree in Public Policy. He is a contributing editor at www.theconservativevoice.com. Contact him at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).

Posted by jonjayray on Wednesday, February 9, 2005 at 10:16 PM in Social Conservatism
Comments (18) | Tell a friend

Comments:

1

Posted by Marc on February 10, 2005, 01:02 AM | #

“Forget the radical homosexuals. Heterosexuals need to set the example and take the lead in strengthening the foundations of traditional marriage.”

Well thank God someone said it.  Straight peopple need to stop bashing gays and wake up to the fact that their own behaviors have had far, far worse consequences to society than anything gays (a mere 3% of society!) do. 

It’s easy to scapegoat homosexuals, but in doing so straights only distract themselves from the real issues at hand.

2

Posted by Geoff Beck on February 10, 2005, 11:00 AM | #

Stop bashing gays?
Really? You mean when the Mass. Supreme Court forced the gay marriage issue before the nation and defensive resistance is encountered, that is bashing?

You mean when gay activists insert homo-prop into the schools and defensive resistance is encountered, that is gay bashing?

You mean when the ACLU attacks this guy, that is gay bashing: Hans

Hoppe Under Attack At UNLV

Gays spread disease period. Gays are wildly promiscuous and a scourge.

3

Posted by wintermute on February 10, 2005, 11:41 AM | #

Gays spread disease period. Gays are wildly promiscuous and a scourge.

More bravery from the stout-hearted Geoff Beck.

Following his manly demand that we “invade” LA and “kill” gangbangers, comes the denunciation of gays as a “scourge”.

Yet, for manifestly more powerful and damaging groups, there are only the most suggestive hints deployed, like delicate hankerchiefs dropped in the presence a suitor.

Now, under pain of whiplash, we’re back to plain speaking: gays are a scourge.

What do you imagine it could be, this invisible, malevolent force, that turns Geoff’s courage on and off light a lightswitch? For myself, I can’t imagine. Perhaps another reader here can clue me in to what freezes the blood so quickly in one instance, while letting it boil over in so many others?

Whatever it is, it must be a powerful consideration indeed . . .

4

Posted by Geoff Beck on February 10, 2005, 12:03 PM | #

Scourge: “A source of widespread dreadful affliction and devastation such as that caused by pestilence or war.”

Can A I D s be considered anything else? Who gets it? The data is at CDC. The incidence is confined largely in 3 overlapping subgroups: M i nor ities, ‘those with peculiar desires’ and IV drug users.

Where are these faithful married homos? They don’t exist, except of course in Hollywood and university campuses. Stanley Kurtz has explored this issue and the effects of so called “happy marriage” in Scandanavia. Its a disaster - or uh - scourge.

By the way… the invade L.A. thing was a joke. California is the first state lost to the American empire.

Good Day. grin

5

Posted by Geoff Beck on February 11, 2005, 06:14 PM | #

More news about the scourge:

Frieden said the case, diagnosed in a man in his mid-40s who reported multiple male sex partners and unprotected anal sex—often while using the drug crystal methamphetamine—was ``extremely concerning and a wake-up call.’‘

Officials Find New,

Virulent HIV Strain

6

Posted by Marc on February 12, 2005, 12:55 PM | #

“Really? You mean when the Mass. Supreme Court forced the gay marriage issue before the nation and defensive resistance is encountered, that is bashing?

You mean when gay activists insert homo-prop into the schools and defensive resistance is encountered, that is gay bashing?

You means when the ACLU attacks this guy, that is gay bashing: Hans Hoppe Under Attack At UNLV.”

No, I never said that defending traditional marriage, the true purpose of education (which should not be hijacked by social agendas right or left), or the right to free speech was “gay bashing”.  If you want to have a debate, stop putting words in my mouth!

“Gays spread disease period. Gays are wildly promiscuous and a scourge.”

THIS is gay bashing.  I’m gay and I have never spread a disease.  Lesbians have the lowest HIV rates around.  Gay men ARE, generally speaking, very promiscuous.  Then again, men cut off from the mitigating influence of women always behave badly.  This is as true for frat boys as it is for gay men (though obviously the bad behavior is channeled through different avenues).  And besides, we’re the ones who have to deal with the consequences, not you.  We’re the ones who have to watch our loved ones die and who so often become sick ourselves.  So leave us the hell alone.

7

Posted by Marc on February 12, 2005, 01:03 PM | #

‘Scourge: “A source of widespread dreadful affliction and devastation such as that caused by pestilence or war.”

Can A I D s be considered anything else?’

AIDS is a scourge, but then, you didn’t call AIDS itself a scourge did you?  No, you called homosexuals, regardless of whether they were HIV positive or not, a scourge.  You called human beings a scourge.  Don’t try to backpedal on this now.

8

Posted by Geoff Beck on February 12, 2005, 01:48 PM | #

No back peddling here:

In terms of incidence if there were no Gays would their be a signifigant incidence of AIDs? They are the prime vector for the scouge.

O.K. Gays are a scourge. The best thing we can do for Gays is discourage others from joining their lifestyle - through stigma - and if there is a biological reason for their illness - we ought to find a medical cure.

Considering too, the number of males not having families and children because they are attracted to the homosexual lifestyle: unrestrained sex and drugs, the disaster for birth rates is even greater. And yes, I don’t buy the genetic origins of homosexualism. I think it is a virus and or recruitment / environment.

Since it is a scourge (both AIDs & Homos) I would close down all the gay bath houses, and ban gays from most offices. They can practice their ‘peculiar desires’ in the closet though. I don’t advocate violence towards homos, just stigma.

You don’t like my opinion? Then stuff it, this isn’t N. Korea. I’m quite content being:

mean spirited, hate filled, and intolerant!

9

Posted by Geoff Beck on February 12, 2005, 01:58 PM | #

Lesbians have the lowest HIV rates around.

Lesbians are not Gay! I agree with Steve Sailer:

WHY LESBIANS AREN’T GAY

> You’re Gay?

I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve heard of Project Exile, a group that claims they’ve turned Gays around. Perhaps there will be a cure one day. I hope you quite that lifestyle, find a good woman and have family.

>Leave us [Gays] alone

The problem is we don’t live on an island. The violence, drug abuse, health costs, and disease spreading that emits from the Gay community is poisoning the well of civilization. Sorry.

 

10

Posted by Geoff Beck on February 12, 2005, 02:04 PM | #

Oh, readers of MR curious about Transexualism may be interested in this book:

The Man Who Would Be Queen: The Science of Gender-Bending and Transsexualism

by J. Michael Bailey

here

11

Posted by Marc on February 13, 2005, 11:02 PM | #

“Considering too, the number of males not having families and children because they are attracted to the homosexual lifestyle: unrestrained sex and drugs, the disaster for birth rates is even greater.”

The percentage of men in our society that are exclusively homosexual (and very few men seem wired for bisexuality) is estimated reliably at between 3-5%  Are you honestly going to sit there and say that the lifestyle decisions of 3-5% of the male population has had the same or a greater effect on the birth rate than the lifestyle decisions of the other 95-97%?

My point is that the birth rate has crashed so disastrously here in the West because of changes in HETEROSEXUALS’ behavior.  Don’t blame us gays, who have always existed (yes, even in very high-birth rate societies whatever Utopian fantasies you might entertain) in similar proportions to the larger society as we do today, for something that we just didn’t do.  The crash in the west’s birth rate simply is not our fault. 

Furthermore, I would question why so many conservatives extoll the greatness of western civilization on the one hand while bashing gays on the other.  As though gays have not contributed disproportionately to the glory of western civ!  Sandro Botticelli, Michelangelo, and Da Vinci were gay.  Sappho was a lesbian and Emily Dickinson as well as Shakespeare clearly had some degree of same-sex attraction (go read their poetry before you accuse me of “queering history”).  Now, this isn’t to imply a degree of homosexual supremacism in the arts.  The majority of great artists were heterosexual, some robustly so.  Nevertheless, us queers have played an instrumental role in building the civilization you yourself are so proud of and so eager to defend.  Go back to the inception of Western Civ and permanently stamp out the the “scourge” of homosexuality and what would you be left with?  Greatness, yes, but compared to what we have now, a significantly impoverished culture.  Or do you really think a straight man would have gotten it into his skull to sculpt David?

12

Posted by Geoff Beck on February 14, 2005, 12:33 AM | #

Do you really believe that homo-prop? The homos have been going through the public schools trying to tell kids George Washington and Abraham Lincoln were fags.  I see a “sucker” is born every minute.

I had to delete what I wrote, it was so crude yet a statement of truth. How can anyone engage is such a loathsome act.

“Pity the poor homosexual. He has made war upon nature and nature is exacting a terrible punishment.”
Pat Buchanan

13

Posted by wintermute on February 14, 2005, 12:19 PM | #

Do you really believe that homo-prop?

Regarding Shakespeare, Plato, and Michaelangelo? Yes.

The case is looking more and more certain for Lincoln, too. Tripp’s Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln is full of surprising information on that score

If true, this would leave Napolean as the only really sexually normal world conquerer - what are the odds?

In other words, Marc, you are not limited just to artists when positing a disproportionate - and disproportionately positive - place for gays in Western History.

As for the AIDS business, am I the only one who finds it hysterical that the same conservatives who have aneurysms over this unfortunate disease turn right around and crusade for smoker’s rights, no matter what the health risks are for them or other people? Not talk of angry gods there, except on those occasions the mighty Market is invoked.

How much does lung cancer cost society? Don’t ask a conservative in high gay dudgeon - he’s not likely to know. But you won’t hear the word scourge used in this matter, save from a far Left nanny liberal.

Oddly, it seems the only difference between liberals and “conservatives” in this matter is what they want to keep you from putting in your mouth!

“Pity the poor homosexual. He has made war upon nature and nature is exacting a terrible punishment.”

Not so terrible as that reserved for Indonesian sun bathers, though - go figure.

God and Nature remain inscrutable in wrath, except for people who retain the theological thought patterns of Kalihari Bushmen - or ancient Hebrews.

The gods are angry - heap bad trouble.

It still brings a smile to my face recalling Jerry Falwell’s assignation of the WTC disaster to pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays and lesbians, etc. The looming purple face of Tinky-Winky hovering ominously over the ruined skyscrapers . . . a somber scence worthy of Brueghel.

14

Posted by wintermute on February 14, 2005, 12:30 PM | #

Since it is a scourge (both AIDs & Homos) I would close down all the gay bath houses, and ban gays from most offices. They can practice their ‘peculiar desires’ in the closet though. I don’t advocate violence towards homos, just stigma.

Just out of curiousity, Geoff, what are the chances of us getting to hear you say the same (stigma and removal from office) regarding our Elder Brothers in Faith?

You don’t like my opinion? Then stuff it, this isn’t N. Korea. I’m quite content being: mean spirited, hate filled, and intolerant!

I disagree, Geoff. You are content to be hate filled and intolerant when the coast is clear. When frightened enough of the 2% of the population you’re allegedly complaining about, you’re not above whispering.

I will say though, you are awfully brave to bully the lone homo on our board, and surely deserve all sorts of manliness points for outspokenness on that score.

15

Posted by Geoff Beck on February 14, 2005, 01:52 PM | #

This is my final comment about Homos.

The degeneration of any white man into ‘a happy person’ is a loss for our entire society. But Homo-ism is just another indication of our society’s state of decadence; other indicators are crime and divorce. It is a symptom of society that has lost confidence it itself and is unable and unwilling to assert its authority.

However unfashionable I may be I am unwilling to compromise on this issue. Homos are pariahs. There can be no alliance between conservatives and homos. By its nature homoism is a threat to the family and stability of society.

I also urge others to stand-up and not compromise on this issue.

————-
Wintermute is jealous because I can’t devote everyword of every sentence of every paragraph to the J E W question.

16

Posted by Delmore Macnamara on February 15, 2005, 11:47 AM | #

Geoff you must admit that quite a few of the foremost contributors to western culture have been at least intermittent homosexualists.

Still I sometimes think Wintermute is an agent provocateur for ZOG.

17

Posted by Geoff Beck on February 15, 2005, 12:19 PM | #

Delmore:

I’m skeptical about the claims the gay mafia makes about *some* exceptional artists being “happy”. I think there is a great deal of exaggeration in all this.

For those artists that have this unfortunate proclivity I ask this question: do they have anything in common with today’s gay mafia? That is were they acting as agents of the ‘gay lifestyle’? Or were they serious artists that wanted no part of some form of modern ‘sexual identity politics’?

Some years ago the happy people were screeching on TV that approximately 10% of the population is “happy”. Well, after some research was done that number was whittled down significantly.

Michael Angelo is certainly the favorite of the gay mafia. But what about Bach, Dante, Rembrandt, Albrecht Durer, Carravagio, Mozart, and countless others. The list is endless.

Also, In my reading of Charles Murray’s

Human Accomplishment

he makes no mention of homos comprising some definitive percentage of important artists. He does remark that most have been dedicated Christians, and to some extent Jewish.

Much of this non-sense is political and originates in a confused understanding of classical Greek and Roman attitudes about Homosexualism. Read the 12 Ceasars, or Cicero and you’ll see what I’m talking about. The confusion originates, though, because this was a pre-Christian society and their motivations and reasoning were quite differently on moral questions.

18

Posted by Travis on July 17, 2005, 02:32 PM | #

It is quite interesting that an an argument could be made in one moment that homosexuals are a scourge and in another moment expound on the contributions of Christians with out even a bat of the eye.  If you reason that spreading disease makes any one group a “scourge” then by the same token Christians must be the greatest scourge the Earth has ever known.  During the middle ages 25 million died from the Bubonic Plague… which was mostly a result of a vast ignorance enforced by the Church in order to promote fear and control the populace. Had the Christians of the day been even as aware of the benefits of bathing as the “confused” Greeks and Romans (who by today’s standards were very unsanitary themselves) were the disease would not have been nearly as devastating. Indeed, the plague was most often blamed on Jews who were consequently burned at the stake in retribution.  One should also take into consideration the spread of small-pox in the Americas by Missionaries and Catholic Conquistadores who sought fortune and destroyed in the name of Christianity: an estimated 3.5 million Native Americans died from the disease within only a few short years after its introduction to the two continents.  Later the Christian colonists would learn to deliberately spread the disease.  During the French and Indian Wars the British forces at Fort Pitt purposefully distributes small-pox contaminated blankets and goods to Native Americans in an attempt to destroy resistance to colonial expansion. The spread of small-pox and other diseases also happens to be the main reason why Christians were unsuccessful in their attempt to enslave the indigenousness population and were then forced to import slaves from Africa.  Yet, the spread and devastation of small-pox has yet to be contained; in the 20th century alone there were between 300-500 million deaths as a result of the disease.  If we take into consideration the Holly Wars, The Holocaust, The Inquisition, the slaughter of “heathens, heretics and witches”(god forbid anyone contradict Christian dogma),the mass genocides in America, and the spread of disease by Europeans(the vast majority of whom have and still identify as Christian) then
Homosexuals have much work to do if they even want to compete with those “dedicated Christians” and their history of contribution.  It is intreaging that
there is such along history of Christians using and ignoring the Bible when ever it most fit their purpose, and that there is so much hypocricy in it even today. And as far as Aids is concerned, though it was first seen among gay men in the United States, has been spread most often by Heterosexuals throughout the world.  The frequency of new AIDS cases among homosexuals has gradually decreased over the years where as the number of Heterosexuals infected with the disease has been on the rise.  Perhaps Homosexuals should now be teaching those Heterosexuals about responsible sex.  But this is an unlikely scenario since the Religious Right, in the name of Christian morality and in accord with their predecessors’ infatuation with ignorance, discourages educating people about safe sex. As you yourself have acknowledged homosexuals have added many positive things to our society.  And not just in the realm of
Art… there have also been greet contributions made by homosexuals in the fields of Philosophy, Literature, Music, Politics, and Humanitarian and Scientific efforts.  We must not forget that it was again those “confused” Greeks who established the first Democratic State.  And where would we be without Allen Matheson Turing who crack the Nazi Enigma Code and proved Universal Computation which led to the invention of the Computer. There are many more that I could name, and there are homosexuals who have committed evil.  Yet, this holds true for any group of people, and no one group has a monopoly on good or evil.  So, I suppose the moral of this account can be taken directly from your Bible and what I suppose is your belief system: “judge not lest ye be judged”.  All though, even this good bit of advice is contradicted within the Bible which makes me wonder why anyone in their right mind would find such a discordant religion appealing.  But, each to their own.

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