Higgs Particle Suspected as Morgellons Cause

Two recent outbreaks of the mysterious “itching nanofiber” disorder known as Morgellons, one at CERN and the other at the Hanging Rock Supercollider in Australia, have indicated a possible link between high-energy particle colliders and the disease. Both facilities were attempting to create and detect the elusive Higgs particle when the outbreaks, which affected scores of scientists and workers and are now spreading rapidly, began.  “We are trying to contain the event and prevent more deaths” according to Dr. Walabi of the HRS.

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Posted by Søren Renner on Tuesday, April 1, 2008 at 09:46 AM in
Comments (11) | Tell a friend

Comments:

1

Posted by James Bowery on April 01, 2008, 10:18 AM | #

Hey, look on the bright side: At least the earth didn’t shrink to the size of a pea.

BTW: Here are more photos of what we at The Institute now refer to, simply, as “the phenomenon”.

PS:  Those not of western European heritage may want to read the Wikipedia article to understand strange happenings that seem to be cropping up today.

2

Posted by Guessedworker on April 01, 2008, 11:01 AM | #

Damn, it’s mid-afternoon here and I forgot that the fool’s scourge-day is still on-going to the west.

Still, let’s foolishly investigate this alarming new health-risk.

1) Just how embarrassing is the itching?

2) What kills the itcher?  The nano-thing or his rapacious forefinger?

3) Is the disease communicable?  Or do I have to switch on the super-whooshing particle thingy that I nabbed off the James Bond set of Dr No just before Cubby & Co blew the whole kiboodle skywards at the end - and which, even now, is occupying a nine-mile circuit beneath my own private volcano.

I believe Ursula Andress may still be down there somewhere too.  At least, somebody is costing me a fortune in mangos.  But, frankly, since she is a septegenerian now, and Eva Green is taller (well, everybody is taller) I may be forced to cut off the supply.

A better way to go than itching to death, though.

3

Posted by Sheila Enzenauer on May 13, 2008, 07:00 PM | #

I think I have an actual magellons bug sitting on my slide.  Want to see it?

Sincerely,

Sheila Marie

4

Posted by melissa on July 27, 2008, 01:53 AM | #

i have morgellons,mine dosent itch,theres nothing funny about sores all over your arms and drs.thinking your crazy.

5

Posted by jon do on September 21, 2008, 10:29 AM | #

where did you get this story i cant even find a collider in australia

6

Posted by T A on February 15, 2009, 07:32 PM | #

Posted by jon do on September 21, 2008, 02:29 PM | #

where did you get this story i cant even find a collider in australia

how hard did you look for one, do you need others showing you where to find stuff, or do you type BS!

http://www.synchrotron.org.au/content.asp?Document_ID=95

7

Posted by joe shmoe on April 10, 2009, 05:46 AM | #

stop scaring people.
everybody knows this was an april fools trick .
hundreds of scared people will believe anything about morgellons and are aching for news daily… so one peep like this explodes and the rumor mill goes crazy.

april fools

someone’s joke.

nothing to see here.

now go back to your clawing scraping and picking.
just make sure you don’t research serpent symbolism.
we don’t want full comprehension grasped just yet.

8

Posted by David Bardavid on May 27, 2009, 08:59 PM | #

Higgs particles cause yeast infections, i.e Morgellons. Obviously. One can deduce this through the hermeneutics of the numerology of the gemetria of the name ‘Higgs’. At least when it is spelt in Crylic characters. Trust me I know.

Morgellons disease obviously comes from the Magellanic clouds. Which are clouds, by the way. So what if they are made of stars? They are clouds. Again, its in the Crylic gemetria - check it out.

Speaking of clouds, what about those chemtrails?

The Chemtrails have their secret tales that would make your blood run cold—
The northern lights have seen queer sights—-
Sam McGee was from Tennesee, where the cotton blooms and grows—
The night on the marge or Lac Le Barge—
something something
(I forget the rest)

Chemtrails are just a plot to spray Bacillus thuringiensis to kill the evil caterpillar people. Worse than the Reptilians - trust me I know.

Your’s truly

David Freemason Bardavid

9

Posted by Thunder on May 27, 2009, 10:49 PM | #

David Bardavid

You are probably just a harmless fruitcake but I object to your butchering Robert Service.

10

Posted by Lurker on May 27, 2009, 11:02 PM | #

I think David there was just commenting in the same vein as the original post.

11

Posted by 13.solace on February 14, 2010, 11:17 AM | #

Like Melissa, I too have this world-wrecking disease known as Morgellons.  I want to die.
Nothing funny about that.
-j

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