Meatless Friday Tax

Wherein His Excellency Bishop Giuseppe Furioso, having required that I first kiss his ring, allows me to reprint for the flock here at Majority Rights, a letter with which food producers should be bombarded. Who knows? If the Hispanics and Hindus jump on this bandwagon, something like His Excellency’s mark “M” might appear next to the “K” on many food items—with the appropriate fees paid to men like His Excellency…

To Whom It May Concern,

My name is Bishop Giuseppe Furioso and I am the Chairman of the Conference of Orthodox Catholic Clergy as well as the spiritual leader for the more than eight million traditionally minded Catholics it represents. Among the practices that distinguishes Orthodox Catholics from other Catholics is the adherence to the Latin Mass and the prohibition against eating meat on Fridays. It is the latter expression of their faith that prompts my writing to you.

Since most of the food and food related products consumed by Americans are commercially processed, it is virtually impossible to know which of these products contain or have come into contact with either meat or a meat by-products. Labels are of little help since many of the fats, oils and additives are rendered in their scientific terminology with no indication as to whether or not the ingredient originated in a plant or an animal. As a result, it can be reasonable assumed that an important tenet of our faith, the prohibition of eating meat on Friday is, on a regular basis, being inadvertently compromised since there exists no clear cut mechanism for identifying products that contain the “ offending “ meat or meat by-products. There is also the problem of “ cross contamination ‘’ that may occur during preparation whereby the processing apparatus used for meat products have not been sufficiently cleansed in accordance with our dietary mandates before being used for non meat products. While you may think that such apparatus has been freed from the offending taint of any meat product, we have more stringent standards since we have to answer to a Higher Authority!

It is with this in mind, that I submit that the only realistic solution to this problem is for you to allow your processing facilities to be periodically inspected and supervised by members of our specially trained cadre of experts to determined which of your products can be consumed on Fridays in accordance with our dietary laws. Those deemed fit for consumption i.e. containing no meat or meat by-products would be designated with a small capital ‘’M’’ inside a circle with a diagonal line going through it from left to right; those that contained meat would simply carry an encircled M. As for an appropriate place for this symbol, may I suggest that it be placed next to the kosher designation that every single one of your products already carries as an accommodation to the nation’s Jewish community. Furthermore, we would insist that the cost of these inspections be assumed by your company in a manner not unlike the one that currently exists between your company and the appropriate rabbinical authorities who have been routinely inspecting your facilities for decades. Moreover equity would demand that you display the same evasiveness should the general public become concerned about the cost of these purely religious inspections being passed on to the general consumer.

A positive response to the requests made in this letter would go a long way toward demonstrating your company’s commitment to the demands of religious sensitivity in a culturally diverse society.

Sincerely

Bishop Giuseppe Furioso

Posted by James Bowery on Tuesday, July 10, 2007 at 09:51 PM in
Comments (2) | Tell a friend

Comments:

Posted by Vibrissa Wisker on July 11, 2007, 10:03 AM | #

Anyone who goes along with Bishop Furioso’s request is being taken advantage of by the Chairman of the Conference of Orthodox Catholic Clergy. I for one refuse to be a CCOCC-sucker.

Posted by JB on July 15, 2007, 12:58 PM | #

more about the kosher scam :

http://web.archive.org/web/20050924115055/ukar.org/tax.html

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