Mycenaean Wiggers: Who Got Game?

Having contributed one article praising the militaristic animus behind black rap music, I find myself falling deeper and deeper under the spell of these slave-descended word-smiths. Indeed, as some members of the Commentariat prudently forsaw, once I started down this path, there was no way to halt my descent into a drum-bashing, rhythmically funktastic rhyme-coma: even now, I am afraid I may be lost to madness. I started making up words like “Afropocalypse” and it’s adjective, “afropocalyptic”. I declared that London had become an “Afrotropolis” and feverishly day-dreamed that all of history had been rewritten by Afrocentric maniacs: how they claimed Negrothoven had written his famous 9th Symphony, the Negrode to Joy, after Niggpolean almost subdued the continent through force of arms. I then awoke, still in the grip of this strange mental sickness, and began translating rap lyrics into homeric Greek. Insane in the ????, insane in the ????. I then started work on a Rap version of Homer’s Iliad, which may be the most ill-conceived undertaking in the history of literature. Here is my translation of the famous passage where Agamemnon refuses to give back Chryses’ daughter, who he captured during a raid:

?? ?? ??? ?? ??????? ???????? ??? ?????? ?????
??? ? ??? ?? ????????? ??? ??? ????? ???????
??????? ??? ???? ?? ?????, ?????? ??????.

    All that voodoo shit you hit with, priest-nigga
    Ain’t goan get yo kid back, jigga
    She goan be mending my clothes, go figga
    Working the loom is her doom, punk-ass bitch!

Oh my god, I just vomited on myself, some of it went on the keyboard   now I have
to clean up this mess!!111;d; OK Im back. Anyway, I was bridging the 3000 year gap between the blind MC of Mycenae and our modern wizards of word, when I realized something: cultural borrowing played an important role in establishing the basis of hellenic culture.

And the Greeks were whiggers as well- borrowing the Phoenician Alphabet and imitating oriental artwork and pottery, also borrowing the Kouros style from Egypt which later became the forerunner of the cherished Greek statuary. This Greek poetry finally got written down because of some whiggerized person, borrowing Phoenician symbols.

The central question of my analysis is always who got game? Inventions come and go, through chance strokes of luck or genuine brilliance, and you have to steal them from your neighbors without disclosing your own secrets, that’s the key.

I wrote a rap song about it, here goes:

feat. Lil Ephresatus, Philo-Phil, P-Frolic and the Bronze-Age Dons

Achaean Wiggas Representin’ in 800’s and the 790s!

Since the days when Olympian torch first lit
Everyone been stealin’ everyone else shit
Ain’t nothing safe in this world
Cuz niggas try and steal the game-
That’s why everything got to be bolted down.

Yo nigga, I like yo writing system
Hope it’s easy to carry, cuz I think I take it with me
Niggas sellin’ wack cuneiform shit
Triangles make mad pain for the eyes

It was the Dark Ages, so no one was lookin’
Some hostages we traded, got em back, started cookin’
Up words and rhymes, immortalized in script
All that other stuff we had, we had to let slip.

But yo’ shit, that’s dope-
Your alphabet gets mad props
I use it freely to make words and construe thoughts
I’m rippin it up, the kids love it too
To MC in linear B was much too hard to do.

Now that old shit is dead
Your new script flips my head
Whatever I write in it, its almost sure to get read.
I dedicated a Stele to my dad who just died
Sealed with sick script: now he’s proud to lay inside.

Wigga, come to Ionia, we got it all
Philosophize, sip wine, and ball till ya fall
In the shade of an olive grove, the altar of Zeus
You see the Ox thighs simmerin’, priest bustin’ loose
With mad dedications, supplications, orations, prayerifications

And all this shit is gonna be written down
Thanks to the Wiggaz, it gonna be spreadin’ round
It gonna be passed down, and it gonna be Def
3 Millenia later, our shit still be the best.

Yeah Yeah, Bronze-Age Dons, P Frolic, lil’ Eph
West Coast Dorians in the house! East Coast Ionians in the house!
Mycenae, Thessalonia, Syracuse- where my Italian Greeks at?
Where my black Sea Greeks at?  Where my Egyptian Greeks at?
Where my Iberian Greeks at? Where my Gallic Greeks at?
Where my lost phillistine Greeks at?

Where my barbarbic Macedonians at? You niggas can hold our cloaks.
Peace out.

[fade out]

Posted by Potential Frolic on Monday, February 12, 2007 at 05:39 PM in
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