Why Trump will win - posted on Fri, 15 Apr 2016 14:00 | # 8

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The trend culminating in Trump’s overwhelming adherence. Ever since the Kennedy/Nixon debate the trend was established that if given a tough choice between two presidential candidates, the one with the lowest hairline would win - Kennedy winning by a hair over Nixon.

 
Setting a trend for generations of U.S. Presidents to come, only interrupted by a few exceptions and Lucian Sarti.

Lucian Sarti and the cover-up of Lucian Sarti’s hairdo - a.k.a., “the dumb-dumb.”

Despite a robust forehead, Gerald Ford (in color circle) would be installed following Nixon, for compliance…
                                         
...to the Warren Court and Lyndon B. Johnson’s forestalling of the hirsute dynasty.

With Ford’s help, Johnson temporarily staved-off the trend, rewarded, despite his forehead, for passing the Civil Rights Act, the Immigration and Naturalization Act of 1965 and The Rumford Fair Housing Act (can’t discriminate regarding who you rent or sell property to, bald or otherwise); and for drafting long-haired hippies to their death in Vietnam. Gerald Ford contributed to this valiant effort to cover-up the trend by visiting a balding Jack Ruby in jail to tell him his family would be alright if he’d just shut up and go along with the Warren Report. Ford was thusly awarded the Presidency upon Nixon’s bald resignation - the widow-peaked Nixon serving nicely until forced to bail-out of his service to anti-hair, bailing-out of the very Presidency he’d been granted for sending long-haired pretenders to their rightful death.

               
Nixon tried to co-opt Elvis’s hair in an attempt to fend-off the Beatles, to no avail - the mopsters prevailed.

       
Enough resistance was enough and Jimmy Carter stepped-in to set the hairline back on course.

       
Not to be outdone, the old nemesis of hippie protests, Ronald Reagan, got the neo-con hairsimilation rolling and ousted Carter.

       
For the massive popularity and momentum of the Reagan terms, Bush senior got swept-in for one, but only one term as his hair-line was much too high.

       
Cool and with grim determination, the upstart Bill Clinton was able to overcome a myriad of character issues by dint of his hairline, standing down Bush senior and going on to be elected twice.

       
Having learned from his father’s mistake and Reagan’s success, Bush junior augmented the trend with Wolfowitz’ comely advice, kept it coming down, which facilitated even this dolt to eke-in for two administrations.

       
That was despite Kerry’s best efforts, hair, concealing his Jewishness with a fake Irish name, you name it.

       
Obama’s hair was sufficient to overcome whatever good advice that he might have been given.

       
Honorable mention, John-John Kennedy: Look at that crop! So damn good looking! He should have been President! - would have, if only his campaign aspirations had not taken a blind turn downward.

       
No worry, the definitive man-hair arrived to thwart Wolfowitz’ attempt to install another long-headed Bush.

       
You can’t Trump that hairline - he will win!

Presidential hair has gotten closer and closer to the eyebrows and the record is shortly to be overtaken by Trump: