You can picture the scene.  The DCI had been in Court all morning, and from there straight into conference with the CPS, the PA, Coroner’s Office and a few voluntary sector types.  All part of the Minister’s new “Startline” initiative.  A reheat, naturally.  No different to “Overview”, which wasn’t any different to “Deliver, a Multi-Agency Approach to Crime Management for a New Society in a New Millenium”.  And that was back in 99, when people were still naïve enough to believe that new fangled top-down theories could do more than the old-time, hairy-arsed copper.

But at the sharp end things have moved on since then.  Coppering is stretched out between two worlds, the politician’s and the criminal’s.  And they are growing farther and farther apart by the day.  It wasn’t the crime-fighting that was causing the trouble, really - even though the scrotes were a different proposition.  No, it was whichever bright-eyed grad happened to be writing papers for the Home Office at the time.  Those buggers never learned.  Next year there would be another meaningless CM initiative, and two more the year after that.  And then there would be all the latest bloody sensitivity training intiatives, equality audits, outreach recommendations ...  It was an extremely strange way to nick criminals.

Still, one has to play the game, show willing and all that.  The meeting that afternoon had required more than the usual quota of willing, of right-noise making.  So when, finally, the DCI nipped in to the station on his way home it was past eight.  He was tired.  He didn’t want to hang around.  Just get a couple of quick things done and then get away.

But that hope went up in smoke as soon as he pushed through the cheap plywood door to his office.  His extention was ringing.  He snatched it up.

“Sir, I have a call for you on line 1.”

“Can’t you lot even wait for me to sit down?  Is it important?  Who the hell wants me at this hour?” he asked wearily.

“A reporter, Sir, from the BBC.”

“Oh Christ,” he said, his heart sinking, “What does he want?  Well, put him through, I suppose ... McParland, hello.”

“Ah, Detective Chief Inspector McParland, my name is Guthrie, BBC Hereford & Worcester.  Do you have a statement for me about the three ... arrests ... well, seizures in Bromyard this morning?”

“Bromyard?” the DCI repeated.  That was a mistake.

“You don’t know?” said the little rat on the other end of the line, sensing weakness.

The DCI quickly excused himself and put the rat on hold.  He buzzed the CID room one floor below him.

“Steve,” he said, “do you know anything about drug seizures in Bromyard?  This morning, apparently.”

“Ah ... erm ... Bromyard ... yes.  Not drugs, Sir.  And it’s not my collar ... Lee’s.  But he’s gone home, I’m afraid.”

“Not drugs?  What was it, then?  C’mon, I’ve got the bloody BBC on the line asking for a statement.”

“Um ... it’s ... ah ... golliwogs, Sir.”

Police in Herefordshire say they will not be charging a store owner after removing three toy golliwogs from his shop window.

The toys were removed from a display at Pettifer’s, Bromyard, after a passer-by complained they were offensive.

Officers said the items will be returned but store owner Donald Reynolds will be advised about the sensitivities of displaying them.

Mr Reynolds said he would continue to sell them.

He said he had not received any complaints about the toys, which had been on display for two weeks, before they were seized.

‘Good sellers’

He decided to sell them after altering his shop to include gifts for sale.

“I thought they would be good sellers and they were.

“Within ten minutes of putting them out I sold two of them,” he said.

West Mercia Police said the toys were seized under section 5 of the Public Order Act which makes it an offence to display anything which could be deemed as threatening, abusive or insulting.

It added no further action would be taken.