I am one who tends to think that concern regarding homosexuality is exaggerated beyond its true importance in WN circles.

Perhaps because I was at one time confronted directly and from a complexity of different angles with the implication to myself, but having no doubt that I wasn’t, and wanting to be unburdened of any accusation’s tedium, I was forced to make efficient intellectual work of putting aside any such accusation, to master the ways in which the issue could be deftly set aside as it is - largely irrelevant.

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I have an ambiguous continental European look that in some lights has me looking tough and menacing. But by strange contrast, in other lights, I appear impish – I have “that look.” It hasn’t happened all that much, but from time to time people have thought I was a queer or said that I look like one.

Though I have not been the most popular man among women, some women seem to like me, including some very pretty ones, and that is good enough for me to be ok with how I look. Women were always beautiful to me, unbelievably beautiful.

Thus the accusation was more annoying than deeply troubling in thinking back on it, as my core identity is so based in appreciation, and well, lust for women, that I simply cannot relate to a man wanting to engage in a homosexual act what-so-ever. It is bizarre.

I liked and felt this male identity, its privilege to stand up and fight for what is right. Early on I felt it corresponding with a rule, that in some important respects, a man is not fundamentally acquiescent. The first I was aware of any phenomenon of homosexuality I had an unequivocal aversion to it as a violation of that male integrity – to that a man does not acquiesce, a female, maybe.

The he-man-woman hater phase of childhood was a matter of protecting myself from humiliating defeats by girls, including my feminist older sister. Once puberty hit, I liked women a bit too much – physically, anyway, to where their character in context of America’s liberalism and anti-racism was not always, but too often disappointing.

The torrents of anti-White male hatred exploded after the Viet Nam war was over, when there was no longer a need to be deferential to men for that ultimate sacrifice based on the denial of their intrinsic human value as it were.

Right at the critical age of 13, MS Magazine experienced its only year of black ink, women were hostile to EVERYTHING it seemed. What could be more horrible than having the people (women) you are born to love being trained to hate you and actually acting on it. It was near impossible to do anything about it. There was the wimp/pig oxymoronic performance requirement as previously noted, demanded by feminists, whereby you could always be cast as one of those two categories and put in the “wrong”, no matter how you tried to express your appreciation of women. It was overwhelming, pervasive through media, a media at the time to which there was no talking back – it was an ominous buildup 24/7 of being told how terrible you were as a White man, and legitimizing the most hideous betrayal in alliance with black power. Though the dam had not burst, the signs were clear and pointing toward the worst nightmare. Worst of all, women often seemed to be indifferent, if not all for it.

For me, unfortunately, my family offered no recourse from this social maelstrom but was if anything, more harrowing. My mother, always high-strung, became more and more hostile until she was unremittingly hostile, accusing me of a bewildering cacophony of bad motives and characteristics. I was 13 for god’s sake but she prohibited me from defending myself and “meta-communicating” to clarify and revise her pejorative attributions of me. Her hostility culminated in her having a second nervous breakdown (her first was when I was 11). It was neurologically related, as evidenced by her pupils becoming tiny. In one instance she spread Christmas cards throughout the house “to make it like Disney Land for the starving children of the world” and peed on the floor so that they could have a drink. Apprised the acute difficulty, my sister came back from college and was the only one there with me for that episode - angry with me for having been there. I understood that my mother was sick and was only relieved for undeniable evidence of her illness, as her hostility to me was unbearable. My sister’s person was no less a challenge as she went between icy cold displays that she was stronger than any man; to an emotional extreme of blood curdling protests if I observed that a woman was pretty, had a nice ass, whatever. Nevertheless, her feminism, though it was real and versed in the literature, was kept cunningly in the background and protected from critical revision. I later figured that she adopted the following rules toward men, to do to them what she felt they had done to women throughout history. I was the easiest mark to test her stance: to trivialize, to humiliate, to limit and to control men. Her usual greeting when entering a room was a very loud belch. Occasionally, presenting her masticated food would add display to her confidence and lack of self consciousness.

When she accused me of thinking it is legitimate to rape a woman for dressing provocatively - something I had never even thought, let alone maintained - I stopped talking to her for ten years, realizing vividly that she was simply geared to find in me examples of the stereotypical male chauvinist that she wanted to persecute.

She did build a successful career for herself as a divorce lawyer – bought herself a beautiful home in Short Hills and goes scuba diving around the world several times a year. For my strong dissatisfaction with his vulgar pragmatism, my father, for a last bit of spite from the grave, put her in charge of his estate. And she ruined many an opportunity for me with her antagonism and indifference, as she would. Steering clear of the worst level of bad, but not many levels above. It is, after all, about trivializing, limiting, humiliating and controlling, not about dignifying a man with an outright attempt to finish him.

I am digressing, but to make a point. Women’s reactions to the confused roles of modernity, their “wails” and this ominous feminist build up of anti-White man rule structure that White women participated in all too often during the 70’s and 80’s, made it ironically difficult to not be a misogynist for me, caring about what our co-evolutionary women should-be in essence, as I did.

In fact, I did become a misogynist for a number of years until I got out of America and was able to experience White women in a homogeneous White country, calm, loving and loyal to their men. Not perfect, but their version of egomania limited in the complexity and extent of its impact compared to what it is for women and their capacity for treachery in the American context. It is very nice to be able to like women again (as people, always liked them physically), while retaining the lesson that one should not respect them so much as to put their proclivities beyond criticism.

My father and brother were no help and boxed-out the “macho” route such that discussion to solve problems was “all bullshit.” My father was rather proud of his ungrammatical way of speaking, “No, it don’t work that way. He come from the North Ward of Newark”, etc. My mother seemed to think it was cute, encouraged it. In fact my father viciously attacked innocent questions while humiliating anything like intellectual inquiry with his native strength. Both parents typically humiliated as nonsense what really would be my only recourse – the intellectual route. But this steepest of routes had another formidable obstacle which was my older brother’s jealousy.  Like a bear waiting upstream to swipe to death any fish that he did not take to eat, he was determined that I not be able to think clearly, calmly and with confidence. A constant array of insults and perturbations. I saw women choosing this kind of male and I was repulsed. They seemed to be blaming the men they chose and choosing men they could blame.

However, before making my way out of misogyny, the maze held some further twists for me. There was nobody to talk to and so I was an inarticulate mess going into my late teens and twenties. I could barely talk then (that’s why I take it with a grain of salt when people criticize my writing; I look at where I started). Compounding the confusing antagonism of my family, the rule structure of America made operations of logic for the most part superficial as was the development of ordinary labor skills only a means to participate in and advance a system that augured nothing but destruction of everything that I deeply cared about. I did not want to know how to make this thing work. I wanted to know who cared about going a different way and how to share in influence with them. I could cope with no major, academically, but art, though it was a way to get into a good school.

Still, it didn’t look good for a man to be taking-up so impractical a path in America as being an artist. Add to that the aforementioned impish look that I had in some lights, the appearance of “sensitivity” coming out of my situation as it were, an ambivalence toward women leaning heavily toward misogyny, even though experientially based..

...with rooms difficult to find for students in college towns, fate began looking only more eerie. My first room was in an Oakland, California house owned by a queer guy. Whatever. He left me alone and I was busy with school. The next year I transferred to Boston. I got a room in a big house, turns out owned by a queer guy. There were lots of people living there, not all of them queer in this big, lively atmosphere. So again, whatever. But that was only a sublet, and I had to find another place mid-semester when I did not have a lot of time for a search. I took a room in a house owned by a homely middle aged queer associate of theirs, assured that he would not bother me, knowing that I was straight. And he did not bother me but this was not the lively atmosphere of many but rather a few months of just me and this guy living in his sad, dingy house. Eventually another queer guy rented another room. Young guy, personable, normal in a lot of ways besides being a queer. The first time that I ever saw men kiss one another was when he invited his boyfriend over and french kissed him (yech!). A bit nerdish, but kind of a normal looking guy – really disgusting to see them do this. The world was starting to get a bit too weird for me, but school was hard and that is where my attentions needed to be. Jim, his name was, thought that I was an ok guy (I guess because I am) and he proposed that we get out of this gloomy situation by taking an apartment with a straight friend of his for the next year. He’d found a nice apartment on Mission Hill. I did not want to live with queers anymore so I looked around for an affordable apartment but found it near impossible, especially from a distance in New Jersey over the summer. So, with the idea that the other guy there would be straight as well and its being a nice and affordable apartment, I decided to go for it so that I could move through another year of studies with my living circumstances pre-arranged.

Well.

A couple months on the “straight guy” comes out of the closet and I am now living with two queers. To make matters worse, they start having these queer parties, all sorts of flamers but also some guys you’d never suspect. Some overtures were made to me but not as much as you might think, with its never really being a question to me, they understood that they were going to get a no thanks with the firmness or stirnness of whatever necessity called for.

Nevertheless, these circumstances were mounting up on my psyche and I still had too much ambivalence toward women to be confident and successful with them. I’m getting creeped-out, the queers were giving me the willies as ever, but throwing implications my way. Even so, if god was trying to tell me something I was answering back no! a thousand times no! You want to know what I think? I see a woman’s ass and that is what I want! It may not be nice, but that is where it begins. Still, there were these eerie circumstances and not having other resources, I fell back on religion. I was so scared. I started reading the bible every day! I kept that up the whole time that I was there. That’s when I went through that religious phase that I spoke of.

Butt, I digress. All this forced me to think about and make efficient work of the queer issue, because it really was not an issue for me personally, but having to think about it for the matter of social perception and impact, here are the conclusions that I reached.

That while there is a proclivity to homosexuality among some small percentage of the population and probably always will be, perhaps as a kind of cybernetic balancing for more practical, gender neutral people against the exaggerated and impractical extremes of very masculine males and very feminine females, it is precisely because heterosexual union is not a hundred percent determined that people should be able to be critical of homosexuality in order to discourage it and minimize its negative impact.

Nevertheless, there is another extreme of over-differentiation of the genders. Exaggerated gender roles, whether the sheer, decorative female or the brute macho man are a drag - impractical on an individual level (Bowery might suggest overly practical on a group level, auguring eusociality, even). The opposite of the confidence which decorative, puerile females so admire is empathy; too much confidence as displayed in hyper-masculinity is also counter to sufficient intellectual breadth in authentic European expression.

It probably is true that homosexuals often have mothers who cater to their every wish (and fairly weak fathers), and so do not see women as a challenge. As you can see, I did not have that problem, but it seemed typical of the queers that I knew.

One of the reasons why queers never bothered me too much is because I looked upon them as less competition – hey, more potential choices among women for me. Regarding female homosexuals, if I am honest (and I could be wrong in this sentiment) as well, if they are bisexual, I would rather have a woman who has had other women than other men in her past. And it is certainly better than having miscegenation in her past.

While this strikes me as what should be the normal first instinct with regard to homosexuality, the least maturity should not be satisfied with that. When hearing enough women, you come to find that a lot of them are very hurt by it. And it becomes clear that the very example of “more women for us” is a fair analogy of the liberal women who shrugs her shoulders and does not have a problem with pretty White women going to Negroes, probably with a similar motivation in many instances, that it is less competition. Not good.

There are other problems with queers, of course. I am sorry to report it, but the number of sex partners that some of these guys apparently went through was horrific, like nothing I’ve seen among White hetero populations.

It is not nice of me perhaps, but I might come out of my closet as a secret fan of the A.I.D.S. Virus. If there was ever a disease that targeted the right people: those dealing indiscriminately with such an important matter as sex deserve its death penalty as far as I am concerned. I really resented all the money devoted to its cure and the facilitation of the lifestyle that went into its genesis.

Then there is the problem with homosexuality being encouraged that I alluded to above. There are certain people who should be a little more gender neutral as many if not most activities in life are not so dependent on masculinity and femininity; thus, these kinds would provide a necessary balance to brute and anti-social pragmatism of ultra macho men being taken to an impractical extreme where they cannot see circumspection of the pattern in its myriad expression and requirements; or to the extreme of the decorative female who, being uselessly feminine, can see nothing of life’s problems that should not be taken care of by a sock on the jaw from the said man. In not taking-up the challenge of heterosexuality, queers may not be sufficiently empathetic to just how painful and difficult (and truly unfair) the realm of heterosexuality can be and therefore only lend weight to the oppressors of the fair. Whereas in being heterosexual, these more gender neutral types might be of great assistance in bringing critical attention to exaggerations in gender differentiation which can lead to less distinctly human conduct - e.g., terrible bullying and piggish, if not horrifically unjust conduct in sexuality and other respects of our genetic pattern and legacy. Perhaps the encouragement of homosexuality depletes more balanced types and sends gender differentiation into exaggerated and unhealthy gender specializations, as opposed to people being whole un-to-themsleves, with some dignified favoring of their born gender role’s normal requirements.

I hate to say it, but there sort of is such a phenomenon as “homophobia.” You know what I mean, a kind of over tendency to see homosexuality in things. The problem that I have with that is how it effects younger men, who may be over-stressed as a result of this incitement - combining with the complexity of ambivalence toward women in a situation where our profound genetic legacy is put so much at risk, a risk to exploitation from antagonistic and distant racial groups which is often bewilderingly taken for granted as “OK” by women in this liberal context - such that the young man, feeling overly compelled to prove that he is a real man by a low common denominator of masculinity, can do stupid things. Me playing high school football for example – it was a complete waste of time that should have been devoted to developing academic and social skills. There are worse examples of course, guys getting into violent altercations and having various destructive consequences in their lives as a result.

Hence, the general bias toward the small percentage of queers that there are probably should be a questioning attitude of, really? You think fudge-packers are ok?  What sort of account do you offer for that? This account requested begins to take away the argument that it is strictly biologically determined in the cases where it is not so very determined.

Accounts may reveal that they were molested by a male as a child (as in the case of my “straight room mate” who came out of the closet). I am not aware of the science, but if there is a corollary between homosexuality and pedophilia, that is a serious matter.

That brings us to another problem with homosexuality and why people should be able to be critical of it, particularly why White Nationalists should be able to be critical of it.

Because homos can have a strong need to not be blamed for their homosexuality, they may gravitate toward biological determinist arguments. These correspond with overly liberal politics all around – “people can’t help their sexuality and their practices, therefore we must adjust.” By extension you cannot blame mudsharks as they cannot help but do what they are doing, etc. There are many other examples where liberal politics, and the “that’s just the way it isness” of biological determinism, and mere adjustment to it, would suit the needs of guilt relief. Their liberal politics deterministically justified would tend to be at odds with the interests of WN.

Having said and been through all of that, I still think that WN tends too often to get carried away in addressing this problem. It doesn’t make a great deal of sense to me for it to occupy such a frequent and emphatic topic. Perhaps my equanimity regarding the issue has to do not only with the fact of having been forced to be thorough enough in my criticism of it to be done with it as something theoretically challenging. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I have been fortunate enough such that, barring the college roommate situation, I have not been confronted by it in any in-your-face way. I wasn’t molested as a child. There are no “gay pride” parades in the streets where I live. I have seen a few girls walking hand in hand and kissing to my surprise, but not often. As I’ve said before, there are some queer bars known in town. I do Not go there. Nobody could make me go there. They don’t solicit me or bother me in anyway. I could be just lucky, not living in a town where there are these revolting parades; not having a child who is thinking about going that way, having been influenced by the obvious Jewish campaign to promote homosexuality as one of its PC contingents against White men and family.

These circumstances different than mine acknowledged, I have also known homosexuals who are otherwise not liberal. I have known homosexuals who are racial. It makes sense for White homosexuals to be averse to other races, blacks in particular, with their hyper-masculine evolution; and Muslims with their religion, can be very brutal with queers. Thus, there is a motivated anti-anti-racist force among them that I believe we may as well allow to help us provided they are accountable to not be in other ways very bad. There will probably be circumstances when they are effective agents to our cause, undercover and otherwise.

However, we should be able to remain critical. One of the problems that I have observed with Counter-Currents, for example, is this concept that they have of an elite cadre of males, perhaps invoking the classical Greeks, which conveniently includes a special, if not necessary place for homosexuality. It has a predilection for some racially unhealthy frameworks such as its Nietzsche cult. I have always found Nietzsche suspect in his singular perspective and valuation of big, strong men. Its like a homosexual perspective and his over valuation of masculinity is part of his toxicity. I rarely read him admiring the cooperative, sensitive qualities that a normal man admires and values in his gaze toward women. But rather predominantly the hyper-competitive will to power, the master slave relation of a self overcoming man impervious to social and environmental constraint. Something a puerile female could admire along with bull-dykes and floating fairies.

For its predilections, Counter-Currents can have a susceptibility to these anti-White racial influences. Such as that of Mark Dyal, who I believe was deliberately trying to promote an anti-White agenda through his “transcendent” Nietzscheanism. He was literally saying that most White men are disgusting. He was promoting an a-racial cult of masculinity, as racial advocacy of Whites was so bourgeoisie; it is so transparent a group proxy in lieu the individual power we are bereft of; racial advocacy is coming from the disgusting White weaklings we are compared to the big-strong-hunky-over-men he so admires. We need to be culled, to be made hard – sure we do, to become like the Negro who Nietzsche so admires, the one who, unlike White men, has a good digestive tract and is so quickly done with problems, not bemoaning them in “resentment.” We are to become mulatto supremacists (and by the way, get over this anti-Americanism, for it is the test of the strong).

Yes, puerile females love Nietzsche, as do fags, because he shares their admiration for the same thing – primitive men with a capacity to wield arbitrary power like a ni**er. But what their fawning and fixated gaze toward masculinity blinds them to is that this hyper-masculine man, like a ni**er, is without the level of creative sublimation that characterizes the greatness of White men, the worlds they build and the women we co-evolve.

While the frequent charge from White Nationalists that White men are somehow not acting men enough may be well intentioned and certainly contains some truth - we need to be able to act in accordance with our manly instincts, but in accordance with White manly instincts, not like a n***ger, Jew or some sort of hive insect. Moreover, again, with White females being as one-up as they are within the disorder of modernity, pandered to from more directions and more (wrongly) confident in their predilections than ever, it is more the case that articulate critique of their position needs to be rendered and circulated.* It is easier, more practical and appropriate for them to be called upon to act more fairly and with feminine decency than it is to incite White men to act like hyper-assertive Negroes or gaming Jews.

* Adding that it must be taken into account that there tends to be more, or happier, opportunities for females to make mistakes.