It is, of course, usual about this time of year for journalists in our esteemed mainstream media to ponder the year ahead.  Well, if they can do it ...  But as my record for predictions is somewhat patchy I thought I’d just stick to the headlines you will assuredly be reading.  Or there again, possibly not.

Stone-cold

BBC poll: after the Census most white people say a non-white majority future is only fair
Jupiter wins second-term in the Elysee
Marine Le Pen renounces nationalism. Will campaign in 2027 as Islamic extremist
Jupiter’s wife only creates more confusion when she says, “Moi, je n’ai jamais transiguré”
Boris under pressure for “wild” decision to order 200 million Pfizer doses to beat Omega in 2026
Daily Mail poll: public desperate for next gene therapy
President reportedly signing letters as Go Brandon
Democrats prepare for smooth transition. Kamala Harris says “For pete’s sake don’t call it that.”
Pete Buttigieg denies he was born a biological female. Says “If only.”
Boris on brink as Prime Ministerial hopeful Rishi Sunak says Treasury won’t pay for 2027 Omega 2 madness
Italian government falls.  Mario Draghi to form his tenth administration.
Ending online anonymity will end all forms of hate, says Priti Patel
Online anonymity to be protected for anti-racists, BLM and trans activists
Archbishop of Canterbury apologises to other faiths for using online pseudonym “Archbishop of Canterbury”

Coming down the turnpike

Prime Minister in waiting Liz Truss poses nude for Sunday Sport to prove that she is not, nor has she ever been, a man
Sunday Sport sales plummet. Paper to close.
BBC poll: most white people happy to go to prison for their racism
Liz in, dressed in pink with flowers in her hair, Boris Carried out screaming
Kamala Harris in while still on her feet, unexpectedly; Go Brandon stretchered out
Jill Biden on Trump dream ticket for 2024
Former PM Boris Johnson paid £10 million for after-dinner speech at Davos
Former president Joe Biden paid $20 million for searching his pockets after dinner at Davos
Oval Office redecorated as boudoir
Truss confident lockdowns over.  Wearing grey, she says “People are free to live their lives.”
Truss dons dark business suit, white shirt and tie to impose new lockdown for quintuple-jabbed
Truss dons army fatigues to invite unvaccinated to quarantine at new Kettering hotel
Archbishop of Canterbury says “prison too good for those selfish bastards”

You never know

Ad boss sought by police after one of his ads shows white male in positive light
Royal Protection Officers shoot dead fourth armed black intruder of the year in Buckingham Palace
Body of Sir William Macpherson is to be exhumed to chair committee investigating racism in the Royal Protection Squad
Israel: accidentally-released vaccine injury data triggers public doubts about thirty-ninth jab
Surprise Israeli declaration of war on Iran
AIPAC commits US ground forces to Iran invasion
Kyle Rittenhouse wins Massachusetts for the GOP with landslide
AIPAC in talks with Governor Rittenhouse ahead of cabinet picks
Fox and Tice unite parties. Polls show 60% national support.
Nigel Farage returns to rent-seeking ... sorry, the fight with announcement of new subscriber base ... sorry, political party
BBC poll: most white people want Sharia
After fashion business flop former F1-driver Lewis Hamilton says competition unfair and he should be allowed to win
Bill Gates claims he is love-child of George Soros and the Bat-Lady of Wuhan
Facesoft buys Aggle, Goople buys Microberg
Fauci says he was too embarrassed to explain the very personal meaning of “gain of function”
Detachment of Revolutionary Guards wipes out 10,000 special minority forces in first US ground attack
Chief of Army Staff blames “niggardly” budgets for high heels and eye-liner
Chief of Army Staff sacked for saying “niggardly”
New Chief of Army Staff blames white transphobia for fourth special forces disaster
Daily Mail poll: Public demand gene therapy cure for common cold and hangovers
Truss denies blonde moment. Says ze meant Islam belongs to Britain, not other way round.
Muslim Council of Britain and Chief Rabbi join forces to demand equality for Sharia
“Diversity still our strength” says Brighton’s gay mayor as Pride is shut by Morality Police
BBC poll: most white people say no left-wing bias in BBC polls
Archbishop of Canterbury says Jesus would denounce white skin
Archbishop of Canterbury says not enough for government to pay slavery reparations, white people must pay out of their own pockets
Archbishop of Canterbury converts to Nation of Islam

Never gonna happen

Electoral Commission apologises and grants party status to Patriotic Alternative
Priti Patel admits that black communities “sometimes have a problem with impulsive violence and criminality”
Riots and looting break out in Croydon, Peckham, Tottenham, Salford, Toxteth, Bristol St Pauls ...
Jews disown Judaism. Say they never really meant it.
Manufacturing industry CEOs finally ask what Sustainability means for their pay packets
Manufacturing industry CEOs finally declare Sustainability unsustainable
Panic at Davos as independent scientists finally cut through with common sense statement on sun activity
World Economic Forum finally admits it is an organisation of opportunistic sociopaths
Shock news. Planet cooling. World Economic Forum says it already knows what to do.
BBC poll: most white people want a voice in their own racial future
Archbishop of Canterbury sectioned but “doing well”
Archbishop of Canterbury finds God. Crisis at Lambeth Palace.