Majorityrights Central > Category: Humour

This explains.

by PF

Starter

In a few weeks thousands of people will gather in New York to celebrate the passing of another year. Thousands of confused people, joining together to recognize the passing of 2010. In some way, it is still the end of a century. We wave goodbye to the 20th century and welcome in the 21st. When that sphere touches the pavement, it will signal to us the onset of a new era. We hope its an era where our peoples receive acknowledgement of what we have to do to remain what we are. Time will tell.

Kievsky’s blog had an article mentioning high-fructose corn-syrup, which as far as I can tell, seems to play a central role in modernity, particularly the large rolls of fat which envelop modern persons. They say that if you throw an average American into a large vat full of corn-syrup, that he will free himself by consuming all of it. Anecdotally, this is what happens even if the lid of the vat is low enough to allow escape.

People’s body shapes tend to change with the times. In the old days of classic 50s civilization, men had little pouches of fat on their stomaches. Perhaps these men were 10 pounds overweight or 20 pounds on average. The pouch was small enough to contain a 1 L jar of marbles. The pouch began to extend through the 70s until 1985, becoming too prominent to be sucked in anymore. The pouch had now become a proper belly, and signified about 30 pounds of excess weight. Going into the 90s the belly began to extend into other body-areas, subsuming what were previously separate structures. It used to be easy to tell, for example, where someone’s belly ended and their legs began. There was also a clear line of demarcation between ‘belly’ and ‘chest’.

Main

But as the 90s rolled on, it became more and more difficult to tell what was legs and what was belly. Because at a certain point the belly starts hanging and overtakes the groin area,  and in persons who are 50 pounds overweight, the belly, groin and upper legs fuse into a one big flabby region that is no longer clearly demarcated. The belly was on the move, and not only downwards. Its roundness began to take over what had previously been ‘chest’, to the point where it became difficult to tell where people’s abdomen’s would be. The ‘chest’ began to take on some of the bulk that was creeping up from beneath.

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I have absolutely no idea what is going on here.  But according to the BBC it’s about liberating Lithuanian blonde girls from the prejudices of others.

A Lithuanian company plans to set up a holiday island in the Maldives run entirely by blondes - the latest project in a growing blonde movement in the Baltics. But how legitimate is this latest sign of Baltic blonde ambition?

What do you call a blonde who runs a business? A dab hand at marketing, if she comes from Lithuania.

Blondes in the Baltics have had enough of the jokes about being dumb. Now they want to show they are smarter than the gags make out, with a growing blonde business empire.

But they succeeded only in making me more “prejudiced” than ever.

Or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Embrace The Ocean’s New Diversity’

by The Narrator

The symbolism in the gulf oil deluge is profound. Greedy corporations willing to do anything to increase their profit margins unleash a natural substance into another natural substance, causing a catastrophe of near Armageddon-like proportions.

The similarity to immigration (both legal and illegal) is obvious.  The sad irony is that everyone acknowledges that the corporations which run this world, care little for it. And that they will do or say anything to turn a profit.

Take this piece by the New York Times very own black columnist:

....how is it possible for anyone with any reasonable awareness of the nonstop carnage that has accompanied the entire history of giant corporations to believe that the oil companies, which are among the most rapacious players on the planet, somehow “had their act together” with
regard to worst-case scenarios.

These are not Little Lord Fauntleroys who can be trusted to abide by some fanciful honor system. These are greedy merchant armies drilling blindly at depths a mile and more beneath the seas while at the same time doing all they can to stifle the government oversight that is necessary to protect
human lives and preserve the integrity of the environment.

President Obama knows that. He knows — or should know — that the biggest, most powerful companies do not have the best interests of the American people in mind when they are closing in on the kinds of profits that ancient kingdoms could only envy. BP’s profits are counted in the billions annually. They are like stacks and stacks of gold glittering beneath a brilliant sun. You don’t want to know what people will do for that kind of money.

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by sirrealpolitik

RACE-REPLACEMENT THEOLOGY PRAYER

New immigrants who art in Africa,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done
In Manchester as it is in Monrovia.
Give us this day our anchor baby,
and forgive us not for slavery, nor the holocaust,
as we forgive thee who trample us.
Lead us not towards one iota of resistance.
Nay, deliver us from all kinship ties.
For thine is our kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.

... Or, “Burkha me, it’s got a beard”

DUBAI (AFP) – An Arab ambassador called off his wedding after discovering his wife-to-be, who had worn a face-covering veil whenever they met, was bearded and cross-eyed, the Gulf News reported Wednesday.

The envoy had only met the woman a few times, during which she had hidden her face behind a niqab, or facecovering veil, the paper said.

After the marriage contract was signed, the ambassador attempted to kiss his bride-to-be, upon which he discovered she had facial hair and was cross-eyed, it said.

The ambassador told an Islamic Sharia court in the United Arab Emirates that he was tricked into the marriage as the woman’s mother had shown his own mother pictures of her sister instead of her, the report said.

He sued for the contract to be annulled and also demanded the woman pay him 500,000 dirhams ($136,000) for clothes, jewelry, and other gifts he had bought for her.

The court annulled the contract but rejected the ambassador’s demand for compensation.

http://www.mb.com.ph/articles/242925/out-of-this-world-arab-envoy-finds-wifetobe-bearded-crosseyed-behind-veil

This ...

is Eva-Britt Svensson ... not Kafka’s pin-up but a Swedish Member of the European Parliament who serves on the Committee on Women’s Gender and Equality Rights.  The Committee is seeking a Europe-wide ban on advertising which features exiguously dressed women possessed of that quality once known as “it”.

Today Ms Svensson is reported to have said:-

“Gender stereotyping in advertising straitjackets women, men, girls and boys by restricting individuals to predetermined and artificial roles that are often degrading, humiliating and dumbed down for both sexes.”

“Gender stereotyping in advertising is one of several factors that have a big influence in efforts to make society more gender equal. When women and men are portrayed in a stereotypical way the consequence may be that it becomes difficult in other contexts to see women and men’s resources and abilities.”

And this ...

is Eva Herzigová pictured out of her straitjacket.  Miss Herzigová‘s “resources and abilities” include making such observations as:-

“History is the key to everything: politics, religion, even fashion.”

So be honest now.  Which of these statements would you prefer to discuss?  With the speaker in person, of course.

From The Guardian

Miracle on Merseyside - Liverpool remakes the nativity

The Virgin Mary comes from Knotty Ash, one of the angels used to be in Brookside, and Herod is a woman.

This version of the Christmas story, to be played out on the streets in the centre of Liverpool and broadcast live on BBC3 tomorrow night, has a cast of 300, including the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra, a technical crew of 150 and is produced by the BBC team responsible for last year’s Manchester Passion.

... After discussions with the Bishop of Liverpool, the Rt Rev James Jones, the script’s writer Mark Davies Markham has modernised the traditional story. Mary, lacking both the traditional blue robe and halo, wipes tables in a Seaforth cafe. Joseph is an asylum seeker commanded to go to Liverpool to renew his visa. Herod is a woman and the shepherds are both homeless and sheepless. But there will still be a star and three magi for the show.

“The traditional story is so familiar that it can just wash over you,” said Markham. “I wanted it still to be familiar but to help people look at it in a different way. If they see it in terms of hope for humanity, that would be good.”

... Mary (Jodie McNee), a virgin who has been saving herself for when the time is right, is a bit surprised but tells Joseph (Kenny Thompson) “it’s the Lord’s baby, it’s sent by the Holy Spirit”. Joseph is unimpressed and angry.

“You’re just having a bit of a domestic,” explains director Noreen Kershaw as Joseph launches into There She Goes by The La’s.

Joseph heads across the river to the passport office. Mary follows on to the ferry and they sing Comedy from The Shack’s 1999 album HMS Fable. When Jesus is born, they duet on Beautiful Boy, written originally for the son of John Lennon rather than the Son of God.

“It’s a brilliant story to tell,” said McNee, whose previous Christmas performances include a role as a turkey in a school play. “It’s about community and loving generosity and about accepting people.”

The man’s a spiritual chav*.

But wait ... from a blog named Stuart’s Short Trousers (with thanks to Troy Southgate for the link):-

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